sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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