i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
