I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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