Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
