I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
