i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
