I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
