SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
