I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
