I wish I only lived at night.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
