we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
