I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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