I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
