No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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