Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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