i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
