i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
