using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
