I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
