awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize