I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
