I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
