when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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