he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Drunk is not a location!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
