"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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