Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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