We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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