I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
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