We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
