When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
