Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize