It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
