I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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