Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
