My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
