vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
