we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
