if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
