im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
