Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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