I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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