It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't turn off my feet"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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