If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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