where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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