just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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