Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
