Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
