You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
