You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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