Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize