there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You've changed since you got that strap on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
