I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize