Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
