coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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