Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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