I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
