sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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