so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
