I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
