I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize