a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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