I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
