you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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