i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were trust falling into bushes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
