i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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