girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize